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 alien story plot is silly 
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Your alien story plot is just silly.

You have your player do some plasma stuff then a creature appears in the holding tank then later we find out that it can teleport itself, which means nothing that you did with the machines was in any way relevant to the story.

If the creature can teleport itself that means the player isn't needed for the story, all the events would of happen without him. It would of teleported in and then done its business with the girls then taken them back later to its realm.

Remove its ability to teleport and then make it escape into a vent or under a door, it appears to be very slippery anyway as it slips under the door in the first chapter with Saiko then in the next chapter just make it slip into his bag and hitchhike to the office because you already have the ability to take it with you to the office before the sequence with Monica.


Thu Dec 17, 2015 9:50 am
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maybe the larva form can teleport inside the same realm, but cannot jump from one realm to another.
So the first experiment bring the larva in first place, but only the full grown creature can teleport himself back to his home realm ?

Maybe the creatures cannot come to our realm because they don't know where it is in first place, but they can go to their home realm (they know it) ?


Thu Dec 17, 2015 10:55 am
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The plots of most porn in general are silly and fairly unrealistic. But the point is to be entertaining and/or erotic.

Like anything sci-fi, there's a certain amount of BS to the story as well. Some of it could work in reality, and some of it likely couldn't. Hell, look at any huge sci-fi series out there. But if you want some clarity for the tentacle story;

****************
The intent of the machine is to transport matter from one portal to another. The plasma isn't the singular source of the portals, but rather a catalyst. To move objects through portals, the object actually travels through a different dimension momentarily (see Nightcrawler from the X-Men. He pulls the same thing). By using the "biological sample", the protagonist attracted the attention of an older larval tentacle creature, which was small enough to pass through that initial portal (or it was accidentally pulled in. Wrong place at the wrong time works). Because of that sample, a trans-dimensional accident happened, which caused a familiarizing bond to form from the DNA. The creature wouldn't view the protagonist as a threat and wouldn't attack him with anything more than warnings.

Larval tentacle creatures eventually develop the ability to teleport, but where they're young they rely on the adults for protection. When the creature first came through, it was curious of its new surroundings. The large bipedal protagonist seemed harmless and familiar so it had little to no fear of him. After being released, it explored, taking in more of its surroundings. But it sensed something. Thoughts from the protagonist about females of its species. It suddenly feels a new power growing inside and for the first time used its species' special ability. It teleported.

After feeding, the creature has to rest as it digests the various fluids it obtained. Though it didn't like being pulled away, the creature holds no violent aggression against the protagonist. Perhaps viewing it as an older one of its kind and preventing it from feeding too much too quickly. It goes dormant either way. Eventually, the food is processed and its form has now grown, now developing more features of an adult of its kind. After being released once again by the helpful protagonist, it explores a little more with stronger senses. But something strong is in the link. A recent memory of a larger female, one that could provide it with much more sustenance.

Being larger and stronger, it's now able to sense this being and teleport further. Using its telepathy to find the location and layout of the building from the protagonist, it vanishes and reappears in the office of our lovely Monica.

From this, we can see that as the creature grows in size after feeding, its powers grow stronger as well. To the point to where it can reach out with its telepathy and force the girls to come to it. The more it feeds, the stronger it gets. It's not quite an adult, but eventually gains enough power to open its own portal since the dimensional fabric is weaker due to the portal machine, and return home with its food. Being young, it wasn't able to close the portal properly, so a small tear was left behind. This is what the protagonist will use to rescue them. Though their minds have been altered to provide food for the creatures, so their sexual desires will always be at a high level. Their willpower is gone, making them very susceptible to suggestion.

By the time the story ends, it's a little open to where it could go. Can the creature find its way back to the protagonist's dimension without that initial portal? It's unlikely, but possible. Perhaps larval creatures can only teleport for a time so it can feed while small, but eventually lose that ability when it gets larger and able to physically defend itself or hunt their prey.

**********************

I gathered the telepathic link part due to the effect on the protagonist's mind when the larval tentacle beast wanted to continue feeding as well as having called the girls to it. So the protagonist actually is needed in this story. He opened the portal which first pulled the creature in, and messed with the dimensional fabric which enabled the return trip. It gained knowledge of the girls from its telepathic link with the protagonist. It also gained the knowledge of where to go and knew that the basement was a safe place to be since it was the protagonist's home and work area. It was both familiar and secure.

The dimensional portal is something I pulled right out of X-Men. In "X-Men Evolution" there is a whole episode dedicated to the very event of Nightcrawler having his teleportation slowed so he could see what was in that alternate dimension and due to the machinery used, it weakened the dimensional fabric and allowed other beings through.

The bond through DNA is total BS I made up off the top of my head. Seems to be about as good as any other plot device. Far from the worst at least.

And like I said, the ending is a bit more open. While there's a possibility of the creature coming through again, it might not be able to. The dimensional fabric could have repaired itself, the creature may not be able to teleport anymore, etc.

Anyway, I'm very sleepy and will end here. Hopefully this is readable and is somewhat entertaining. Too tired to go back and fix anything right now. Later!


Thu Dec 17, 2015 12:31 pm
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That really seems like your trying to hang on to the teleportation idea, its just bad there's no point saying maybe we can do this when its a bad idea to begin with.


Sat Dec 19, 2015 12:00 am
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I thought he did some sort of new sex beast creation. Not something from another dimension. At least that is how I interpreted the whole thing. More in line with a show like Weird Science.


Sat Dec 19, 2015 8:24 am
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